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Are you suffering from depression or is it something else?Let me ask you a question:Are you really depressed? I'm not trying to insult you. It's a legitimate question. You see, the word 'depression' has become sort of a catch-all phrase that people throw around without really knowing what it means. Let's review some of the other emotions you may be feeling - either INSTEAD OF or in ADDITION TO depression. (The more you can sort out your feelings - the easier it is to work with them.) Worry and anxiety are not necessarily symptoms of depression.
Of course, you can suffer from depression, worry and anxiety at the same time... but many who worry or have anxiety suffer no depression at all. And many who experience depression feel no anxiety or worry. Even crying spells are not necessarily a symptom of depression. I had them long before the depression set in, and they lasted long after the depression left.
Although they often accompany depression - crying spells are usually (but not always) a combination of either grief or sorrow - some form of hurt. (I know for me, there was also a lot of self pity mixed in as well!) Grief is a package of emotional pain you feel from a KNOWN event, such as the death of a loved one. Sorrow is the emotional pain you feel for no apparent reason at all. Grief and sorrow stand as separate emotions from each other - and from depression - although certainly you can esperience all three at the same time - or not. Also, many depressed people are simply beyond the point of crying. On a similar note, some people are tired and lethargic - and call it depression. It's not. It's being tired and lethargic. Depression *may* be the cause of your fatigue, but so can other things. Most likely, your fatigue comes from harboring your emotions rather than feeling them and letting 'em go. We hide our emotions from view, and that takes a lot of energy. It's hard work dragging around a bag of rocks. Especially when you keep trying to hide it.
Others are restless and unable to sleep. Even this has been called a symptom of depression. There are many reasons why you may not be getting a good night's sleep. Experiencing restlessness, sleeplessness, and having your mind race - may (or may not) be mania. Mania and depression exist as two sides of the same coin. We surrender to mania as an attempt to escape depression.
Despair, despondency and hopelessness have also been confused with depression. All three of these emotions often accompany depression, but they don't have to. You could lose your job, for example, and the doubt, fear and worry could end up as despair. Along with despair often comes despondency and hopelessness. You may not want to get out of bed to face the world; you may be very tired; you may see the world in a very small, dark way. All perfectly normal reactions. But not depression. Of course, it IS possible to truly suffer from depression after losing your job - but it's not always the case. Here's another point of distinction: Depression makes it hard to move, because you feel weighted down and heavy. Everything really does become harder - like a physical weight holding you down. You lose the ability to move about freely. With despair, despondency and hopelessness you maintain the ability, but you lose the willingness to move. You CAN move - but you just don't want to. Many lose both the willingness *and* the ability. But remember we're talking about several different emotions here, not just depression.
If your 'depression' is created by a known cause, such as losing your job, it may be despair rather than depression. Despair, despondency and hopelessness almost always come from a known cause. True depression usually doesn't.
The answer to despair lies with ACTIVELY ENGAGING your world and developing a plan to deal with the event that caused it. Depression, on the other hand, is best handled with the depression technique which you'll learn about later in these messages.
When self-esteem lags, and self-worth seems to disapper, it's often considered a symptom of depression. Many people confuse these terms, and in fact they are often used interchangeably. Self-esteem and self-worth are two very different qualities each enhanced with their own unique methods. Many people feel a lack of self worth and/or self esteem whether they are depressed or not. You can read about self-esteem here.
To learn more about self-worth go here.
Some people live a life consumed with self-pity and call it depression. EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS EVER LIVED knows the experience of self-pity - especially as a child. All children are 'victims'. I'm not saying they're all abused - what I'm saying is all children experience the thoughts and feelings of being victimized in some way or another. Self-pity is an anesthetic to numb the pain. Self-pity puts you to sleep. It's a very effective way to handle the pains and traumas of childhood. Some children were able to get over the pity. Most were not. It's hard to be honest with yourself about self-pity. It's too confronting. (I'm speaking from personal experience!) Here's a simple test to determine how much pity you have in your life: The more difficulty, the more hardship, the more struggle, the more problems you have in your life, the more pity you have. Of course, life continually presents us with challenges. We CHOOSE whether or not to turn them into problems. It's all in how you choose to look at your challenges. Add pity to a challenge, and it magically transforms itself into a problem! Problems can not sustain themselves without pity. Remove the pity, and the problem will disappear. It will crumble under its own weight. Obviously there is more to any problem than JUST self-pity, but pity will be somewhere in the mix. It's a necessary ingredient. Often times, the pity goes unrecognized and unrealized. Still, its there; kind of like a high-pitched whine in the background. Your life runs so much more smoothly when there is little or no self-pity. Self-pity does not make you a bad person - you're simply using the tools of a child to cope with a grown-up world. Children are SUPPOSED to feel pity - grownups are not. Self pity can be every bit as insidious as depression. It can cause at least as much damage and wreak at least as much havoc. Pity is addictive. Depression is not. Pity compares to a monkey on your back. It takes work and effort to end it, partly because it's so often denied, it's so hard to see, and thus it's so hard to grab hold of. I'm not saying you're in self-pity as opposed to being depressed - I just want to point out the distinction. Pity is like being stuck in a slimy mud pit. Depression is like a heavy wet blanket thrown over you. Understand the difference? It's a fine line. You can easily have both. It's hard to be depressed without feeling sorry for yourself. It's hard to feel pity without also being at least a little depressed. Remove the pity from your life and it becomes much easier to deal with depression. Here's an excellent way to deal with the self pity.
Depression equals A HEAVY WEIGHT PRESSING DOWN ON YOU. Depression is usually expressed as: 1.Sadness. It makes you feel hollow and empty inside. You search for a reason to do ANYthing, and so often that reason is lacking. It's like being trapped in a thick, dense, gray cloud. And you can't see any way out. One who suffers from depression MAY also have: 1.Anxiety and various other emotions as well. Or any combination of these. But it's not mandatory. Some people mistake some of the above emotions for depression. I'm not saying you do. I just want to make sure we're on the same page when it comes to depression.
Remember - *** Depression feels like a heavy weight pressing down on you. *** No other emotion, feeling, state of mind or state of being presses down on you like depression. Most likely if you're depressed you also feel a jumble of thoughts and feelings in addition to depression. The more you can untangle your thoughts and feelings from each other, the easier it becomes to let them all go.
In addition to reading about depression, it's also important to understand the underlying causes that would lead someone to need such information in the first place. I almost feel guilty because my life has become so enjoyable and so easy. Especially since I remember how miserable I used to be. Basically it comes down to making one slight shift in what you do everyday, and you can watch in amazement as your life slowly begins to start working out in almost every way. It's such an important change that I've written a complete e-book about it. And I'd like to give you a copy for free. All you have to do is write your first name and primary email address into the space below, and you'll be receiving a link to download the e-book right away.
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