Self Esteem Depression

I'm 19 years old and have just gone through a major depression that has lasted for 3 months. I quit my jobs, school, and completely stopped going out to social events.

I'm still not completely back to myself but I feel a lot better. But, now that I'm able to do stuff I don't want to because I'm embarrassed of myself.

My self-esteem is so low that I'm scared to even go to the store, I feel like everyone can tell I'm depressed. I'm scared to even have a short conversation with someone I don't know, like a cashier at the store. But not only in public places but at home I feel that my confidence isn't the same.

I feel like I completely forgot who I use to be. My sense of humor was weird and different and it was what I liked best about myself and now I can't make anything funny anymore.

I can't think of good jokes or stories to tell anyone. I was known for being reall smart when it came to common sense. People came to me for advice. NOw I can't even get myself outta this mess.

I dunno how to remember who I was and enjoy the things I use to. I just want to be the person I was before. I worked so hard to get to where I was. I felt like I was at the top and now I'm at rock bottom trying to start over again.

This has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through, the worst part is that it kinda came out of no where. I had 2 jobs, was going to college, had lots of friends, and a good family.

There were just normal stresses in my life and out of no where everyone and everything started to irritate me and I than fell into the bad depression.

I've always been a perfectionist and liked things to be done and look a certain way. I think this could have been a cause.

My question is...now that I'm ready to come back to reality do I have to start all over and make a new personality up or will I snap back into myself.

Also, how do I get my self-esteem back. I feel like everone is better than me now, and that I have no right to judge anyone cuz I'm at the bottom.

It's weird, I know that I'm pretty but it's not even close to being enough for me.

I'd do anything to have my personality back and my karisma back. I miss me. I miss having REAL smiles. How do I get it back to myself completely and how long do you think it will take?

(Mark - You get yourself back by embracing exactly what you're feeling and thinking RIGHT NOW. Feel it and let it go so you can make room for whatever comes next.

Keep the thinking and feeling coming - keep it churning UP and OUT of you. If you get that flow going and keep it going, then you'll be more likely to change things.

As for judging - everyone has the right to judge, even though it's always counterproductive. Much better to EVALUATE.

Judging is done without careful thinking and feeling. Evaluations require more effort, but yield much better results.)

In addition to reading and perhaps learning from these comments, you might also want to learn about the underlying energies that strongly influence your life right now.

I almost feel guilty because my life has become so enjoyable and so easy. Especially since I remember how miserable I used to be.

Basically it comes down to making one slight shift in what you do everyday, and you can watch in amazement as your life slowly begins to start working out in almost every way.

It's such an important change that I've written a complete e-book about it. And I'd like to give you a copy for free. All you have to do is write your first name and primary email address into the space below, and you'll be receiving a link to download the e-book right away.

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